Monday, July 12, 2010

Home Again...For Now

I am thrilled to be back with my family. I had two entire weeks without bleeds and was given the OK to travel home last Tuesday. I've been home for six days and have been back to the hospital twice with two bleeds. Baby is looking great and my health seems fine so we will continue on like this (stay at home on bedrest and go into hospital for monitoring after each bleed) until the bleeds get worse. Their best guess right now is that the small tear behind my placenta is bleeding more frequently because baby boy is using it as his own punching bag. Silly boy.

It seems inevitable that I will be hospitalized at some point so I'm trying to enjoy my time at home as much as possible. It is SO SO wonderful to be home with Seija. She is such an amazing little girl and she is constantly entertaining me and blowing me away with the things that she says. She seems to have understand, as much as a 3 year-old can that I need to rest and that I cannot walk or do things outside with her. We do crafts together and play games and read stories and I can tell that she is so happy to have her family back together. She has asked if I can get a babysitter to watch her baby brother in my belly so that I can take her shopping and swimming. If only it worked like that, little one.

I am still struggling to stay positive. Some days I just want to cry because I feel left out of the fun with Seija. But I try to stay strong enough to be less selfish as I know I am doing the best I can for this baby and he deserves everything I can do for him.

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