Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Body, mind and soul

This was going to be the title of my post on Sunday night. Sunday was a beautiful spring day that actually felt more like summer. I spent the day outside with my family and also went for a 5km walk around the lake with a friend. I felt so good when I got home and it reinforced what I have always known: the importance of incorporating body, mind and soul as I attempt to heal my heart and mind. Fresh air and exercise are so important to one's physical and mental health.

During the summer when I was going through a really hard time with my grief and anxiety I started to see a psychiatrist. She was great and was exactly what I needed at the time: the opportunity to voice my grief and anxiety to an impartial, non-judging person. But soon I began to feel worse when I left her office than when I arrived. I would leave with tired weary eyes, a heavy heart and an empty wallet. I soon turned to yoga instead and began to take a couple of classes a week, including hot yoga. I found the meditation techniques I learned in yoga class to be incredibly therapeutic, and I would leave yoga feeling FABulous - healthy, lighthearted and stronger. That is when it became clear to me how important it was going to be to concentrate not only on my mind in the aftermath of our tragedy but also my body and soul.

So: these were the thoughts in my mind on Sunday. Unfortunately I began to have a difficult time walking on my foot. I thought I had damaged my archiles but when I woke up on Monday morning with a foot swollen to double the size that I could no longer walk on at ALL and a fever I headed to emergency. I have cellulitis (blood infection) that started from a blister! Have you ever heard of such things? I have to go to to the hospital ever 24 hours for IV antibiotics and I may not be able to walk for another week or two. I have been concerned about the effects of the infection and antibiotics on the baby but the doctor assures me that everything will be fine. Hard not to worry and it has also been hard not to feel sorry for myself but where is that going to get me? Nowhere fast is the answer. Instead of continuing my pity party I'm going to do my best to do some yoga this afternoon. :-)

1 comment:

  1. I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss. I also wanted to tell you how adorable your daughter is! She is just gorgeous!

    Thank you for sharing your birth story.