My Healing Heart: Sigh of relief...

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Sigh of relief...

Thrilled to report that today's ultrasound revealed a healthy bouncing baby complete with waving arm buds and a perfect heart beat. My next OB appointment isn't for four weeks so I'm going to do my best to breathe deeply over the next month and attempt not to over analyze every twinge.

I'm hoping it will be relatively easy considering our life is full of pleasant distractions at the moment. We take over our new home on Friday and I am prepared to lose my husband to the world of renovations for six weeks as he takes our vision and creates our dream home. Our current house is on the market now. It is annoying to be kicked out of our home constantly so that people can view it and even more annoying to keep it immaculate all the time, so hopefully it sells quickly. I know I should be sad at the thought of leaving this house, our first real house together as a family, but I'm not. Not all of my memories here are positive and I'm eager for a fresh start.

1 comment:

RachelMarch 26, 2010 at 6:40 AM
I have been wondering about you as well...congratulations !! I can see by your posts you are in a great place right now - good for you.
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Dear Oliver

This letter from me to my son was read at his funeral.

Dear Oliver,

We never got to meet you but we already loved you with all of our hearts. I spent the last seven months getting to know you as you turned and kicked inside my belly and it was so wonderful.

It feels so cruel that you could be taken away from us before you were born but I do believe that God needed you even more than we did and I am happy that you will never suffer and will always live in eternal happiness at the same time you live inside our hearts.

I am sad that you will never get the chance to come home with us, we have a really great family, if I don’t say so myself. There are so many people who love you. You have two fantastic sets of grandparents who would have been a big part of your life, they would have been there for you through anything and would have spoiled you with all kinds of fun and hugs and of course chocolate.

I am sad that you will never get the chance to do things with your dad. He is an amazing man and he loves you so much. He was so excited to teach you all kinds of things. I just know he would have been your hero just as he is mine and your sisters’.

I’m sad that you will never get to play with your sister. She is so wonderful and even though she would have most likely terrorized you from time to time she would have been a great big sister.

I am heartbroken that I will never get the chance to be your mother in the true sense of the word. I would have done my best to be the mother that you deserved.

Even though it hurts so bad I can hardly stand it I am still so happy that I was pregnant with you. I would never want to change that even if I could, even if it meant I wouldn’t feel this pain because I got to feel you move, because we love you with all of our hearts and because you will always be our son and that is something no one can ever take away from us.

Thank-you Oliver Mikko for touching our lives forever. You have shown me what is truly important in life and you have taught me how precious life is. You have brought so many members of your family closer together and you have given us the gift of love. For these reasons I thank-you my son.

We will always love you,
Mommy